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Floating in the Milk (10 unread)

Bye for now

Posted: December 19th, 2008, 8:41am EST

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I'm going to just admit it now, that I'm probably not going to post here much. Things are the same as always in Cheerioland - I think the church is a crock, we attend most weeks and continue to be halfhearted Mormons. This seems to make Mr. FITM happy, and that's OK with me. I had an interesting exchange with a co-worker yesterday - we were talking about my four kids and how I wasn't too keen on discussing that fact in the job interviews I did five years ago. Then she said, well yeah, you have four kids, but it's not like you're a Mormon or anything. I'm sure I'm playing a dangerous game, that will blow up in my face eventually. But I'm just not that worried about it - Mr. FITM knows where I stand, and knows that I don't present myself as LDS with a capital L to people. People who know where I attend church don't seem to have a problem with the idea that I'm a somewhat lackadaisical Mormon. Turns out all that stuff about everyone watching you, as an example, was a lie. Anyway, I'm going to make my break from blogging official, but I'll leave this up here, in case anyone finds it useful. When I first discovered the DAMU, I couldn't get enough of reading how other people were dealing with this - I hope my words can help someone else. If something new and exciting comes up, I'll return with an update.
Crankypants

Posted: November 4th, 2008, 5:31am EST

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I hate everything today. I woke up extra early, but it took over an hour to leave my house. My husband, who's usually a good guy decided today would be a good day to hassle me about this. The stupid election is today, and I'm so sick of hearing about it. I voted last week and I just want the thing to be over, so Barack Obama can redistribute my income (spread the wealth) and I can get on with my life. I'm tired of being disliked by random people on other forums I visit for being a fiscal conservative, and I'm angry with the Republican party for allowing themselves to be hijacked by the religious right, making my party nothing more than the lesser of two evils. Having grown up in Washington DC, I have a fairly good idea of how government actually works, as opposed to what they teach kids in school, and can't see myself every throwing away my vote on a third party candidate, but I think I'm starting to regret not taking the opportunity to make a statement this year, since my vote did not really matter anyway. I hope I wake up tomorrow happier and can just let this crap go.
Absentee blogger

Posted: November 2nd, 2008, 8:23am EST

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Sorry for the really long absence. I got kind of worn out, obsessing over Mormon crap all the the time and couldn't think of anything else that seemed appropriate for this blog. Things are pretty much the same as ever around here - we go to church each week and I try to erase it from my brain during the other six days.

I did get a new visiting teacher recently who I really like. When she brought up the lesson for this month (about the eternal nature of gender and gender roles) I was able to tell her I thought it was complete crap and could barely skim the article without wanting to throw it in the trash. We also have a new Relief Society president, who has enticed me to actually stay a few times. The last one started out really well - there was really great feeling of love and sisterhood in the room, and I sat by a woman who was making really funny comments, and who I often agree with and wish I could say the things she does. But the lesson was unavoidably awful - it was love letters from Joseph Smith to Emma, and each one made me want to gag. OK, enough bitching about church for today.

I've got lots of fun stuff coming up - a trip to NY, the Vegas 1/2 marathon, a visit from my little sister and a five day stay in the Dominican Republic in January. I'll try to be better about updating and blogging about stuff I'm interested in, instead of just avoiding my blog because I don't want to beat my head against the wall that is church.
Bloggernacle rears its ugly head

Posted: August 18th, 2008, 12:37am EDT by Floating in the Milk

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The bloggernacle was actually mentioned in my Sunday School class yesterday. A member of my ward, who I've seen post occasionally, mentioned the idea of inoculating our children against the parts of church history that might cause them to question it later. No real specifics of what these historical problems might be were brought up, except a quickly mumbled Mountain Meadows . . . I think most members of the class were somewhat confused by the topic, because they probably just avoid "anti-Mormon" stuff. I know I always did, until the fateful day when I questioned anyway, and decided I needed to look at both sides of it.

The topic came up again in Relief Society. This was my first visit to Relief Society in over a year. It was about what I expected - rather unpleasant, but not more so than the rest of church. The discussion in Sunday School had inoculated me somewhat for the comments in the next class. A few women mentioned the idea of just putting things that worried or confused them "on a shelf". Wow - it's like a disaster just waiting to happen. How many disaffected Mormons spent years putting all of their questions on a shelf, until the shelf collapsed from it's own weight, often crushing them in the process?

The problem with all of these discussions is that the participants are all coming from a place where the church has to be true, and we just need to figure out how to believe in it. So questions about what the truth really is are not asked, because it's not an acceptable question. People who have left, or have serious doubts are categorized as nit-pickers, or they have a desire to sin (drink coffee, alcohol, wear a sleeveless shirt, sleep in on Sunday, eat babies for lunch). I can get my head around the idea that the LDS church for some people, and helps them lead happier and more productive lives. But it annoys me to no end that many of these happy LDS people cannot accept that their church doesn't work for most people in this world. They take that fact as a affront, and have to demonize the people who leave or won't join, in order to maintain their own mental acrobatics.
And the award goes to . . .

Posted: August 11th, 2008, 6:34am EDT by Floating in the Milk

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It seems that the bloggernacle is still rumbling over Julie Beck's conference talk. In a recent discussion at By Common Consent, I came across what truly has to be one of the stupidest comments from a believing member that I've ever seen:
[www.timesandseasons.org]
I'm astounded that a person would take the time to type out something so rude, patronizing and non-sensical. Naismith is also a frequent commenter at Feminist Mormon Housewives, and her comments are generally along the lines of not understanding anyone having a different experience at church than her. She's never seen women treated differently, never heard a racist comment and never struggled for a moment. Until now, when suddenly motherhood is a terrible burden to her, and all of those infertile women should count their blessings - they can be mothers in heaven without having to deal with all the problems of it here on earth. I'm truly agog at the cruelty and thoughtlessness of her comment. At least the other members of the blog appeared to agree that her comment was just flat out wrong.
Heavenly Words

Posted: August 4th, 2008, 8:23am EDT

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My seven year old announced recently that "God speaks English." I got such a laugh out of this, because he was so sure about it.

In another recent online discussion among people from all different religious backgrounds, I read some really good thought about the possibility and personality of God. One person compared us to ants, and questioned whether an ant could even conceive of the existence of humans, or understand our world and lives. Of course not. Having grown up with an image of God as a glorified human male, it was interesting to read other peoples ideas about it.

I found another quote on an LDS blog this morning that I really liked, from Ann Lamott.

“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

I still really have no idea what I think about God, but I'm practically certain that if I ever figure it out, my God will not be wearing a polyester robe and need a blue rinse for his beard.
Back from the depths

Posted: July 18th, 2008, 5:04am EDT

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Just in case anyone tried to access this blog during the last few weeks - sorry. There was a big stir up in my family of origin, involving last minute plane trips to intervene because someones disbelief became public knowledge. It was really disturbing to me, and made me feel rather exposed having this blog out in the ether, where it could possibly be found by someone, depending on what they squeezed out of my sister during the recent inquisition. The whole thing was exactly what I was afraid of 8 years ago when I stopped believing, and was rather surreal to watch (from afar, through phone conversations and texting with my siblings.) Anyway, I think the dust has settled and I came across a blog post today that I couldn't resist posting, for any readers that I might still have.

It's here: [overclassblues.blogspot.com]. I don't have any insightful comments on it, but this essay spoke to a lot of things that have been bouncing around in my head lately, and I wanted to share it.
Covered in Bubble Wrap

Posted: June 9th, 2008, 1:37pm EDT

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Yesterday's Sunday School was a feast of Mormon weirdness and insularity.

Example #1: The lesson started out with some comments about what political party Heavenly Father might belong too. Much snickering from the teacher and others about how they have a pretty good idea. One brave soul in the back yelled out, you might be surprised. Of course the conclusion was that Heavenly Father is likely above such things, but there was a definite undercurrent of knowing that he really is a Republican.

Example #2: Comments about other churches and their paid clergy. One woman commented on how it must be nice to just pay other people to do everything. You don't have do any service for others, since you've hired out the job. This seriously pissed me off - in my dealings with other churches, they have multiple groups and activities devoted to serving the community. Because they are not beholden to some corporation in another state, they are able to react to specific needs and provide the service that's need right there. The other church that I occasionally attend, recently had service activities in place of their regular Sunday services - they do this a couple of times a year.

Example #3: We were forced to listen to a recording of Gene R. Cook's lies about his supposed run in with Mick Jagger on a airplane. The things he related in the story were so absurd, I don't know how any sensible person could take the story at face value. Did Mormons learn nothing from Paul Dunn and his faith promoting lies? The one thing I find entertaining about the story is that Gene is very proud of the fact that he didn't know who Mick Jagger was, but obviously he did know, in order to make up the story. Yes, I'm calling him an out and out liar - I don't believe that he's ever exchanged two words with Mick Jagger.

This was my first visit to church in over a month, and I have to admit it was a shock to my system - the painful reminder that I seem to permanently connected to a bunch of people that believe things that are patently absurd to me.
Revenge

Posted: May 18th, 2008, 8:20pm EDT

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I listened to an episode of This American Life titled "With Great Power." One of the stories was about a family with a really horrible neighbor, who was rude and cruel and did his damndest to make them leave. At some point, a bunch of his trash was spread all over their lawn, and it contained all sorts of information about him - the type of information we all try to keep private like social security numbers, bank accounts, etc. Apparently, having this information made them feel better, because if they wanted to they could use it to screw with him. They could post it on the internet or make it available to identity thieves. As I listened to the podcast, I was frankly horrified by these people. Their neighbor sounded like a total ass and complete nightmare to live next to, but I couldn't believe they would joke about taking revenge on someone in that way. Yes, everyone just watch me and smile as I climb onto my very high horse.

The next day, I had an unpleasant experience getting to work. I usually take a bus, but if I happen to miss the last one of the morning, there's a informal carpool line. People pull up and pickup riders from a line, so that they can use the HOV lane to get downtown. I missed my bus by seconds, and got in the fairly long "slug line". By 9am there were four of us left, and I was #2 in line. A well dressed man in a big black SUV pulled up, and as the girl in front of me got in the car, she asked if he would take two (most people will - why should it matter to them?). He asked if I was going to the same place as her - I answered that I would get off at whatever street she did, I just wanted to get to work. Apparently this was the wrong answer. As I reached for his door, he locked the car, waved me off and drove away. What a complete asshole! I was livid.

I had revenge fantasies about this guy for most of the morning. Wouldn't it be great if he somehow showed up in a meeting at work? If he was a broker or lawyer who wanted to pedal his services to us? Or even if I just saw him in the elevator. Maybe he could a new person in our ward. I wanted the chance to confront him, and the chance to the one with power, for just a moment. I also realized, I had no business judging the people from the podcast for taking some small pleasure in having power, but not using it. Thankfully, I've forgotten exactly what this guy looks like, and my intense anger died down after a day. I do hope that other people in his life realizes he's a jerk, but there's really no guarantee of that. Oh well.

By the way, I'd highly recommend the "This American Life" series. I bought the television show series on Itunes, and I've really enjoyed listening to the podcasts of the radio show too. It's probably much more enlightening than the 4 seasons of Grey's Anatomy that I've watched on the bus (on my Ipod Nano), or the two seasons of Weeds (although I'm looking forward to the release of season three in a few weeks.)
Conjecture

Posted: May 13th, 2008, 10:51am EDT

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Factlet 1: My son wrote a series of short essays about me for Mother's Day. One of them was funny stories. He wrote about the funny time that I walked into the bathroom naked, while he was brushing his teeth. What he neglected to mention was that he was in my bathroom, which can only be entered through my bedroom. I had no clue he was in there.

Factlet 2: Last week he got a note from the teacher about his poor grade in her class, which required my signature. When I didn't sign it all week, he told her I couldn't, because I was in Las Vegas. This was true, but again he neglected to mention that I was there for a conference related to my job.

Unfortunate possible conclusion by his teacher: I'm apparently a degenerate gambler who wanders around the house naked. No wonder my son's grades are so bad. I am so glad that school will be out for the summer in three weeks, and I bet my son is too.

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Floating in the Milk (10 unread)

Posted: December 19th, 2008, 8:41am EST

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Posted: November 4th, 2008, 5:31am EST

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Posted: November 2nd, 2008, 8:23am EST

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Posted: August 18th, 2008, 12:37am EDT by Floating in the Milk

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Posted: August 11th, 2008, 6:34am EDT by Floating in the Milk

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Posted: August 4th, 2008, 8:23am EDT

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Posted: July 18th, 2008, 5:04am EDT

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Posted: June 9th, 2008, 1:37pm EDT

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Posted: May 18th, 2008, 8:20pm EDT

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Posted: May 13th, 2008, 10:51am EDT

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