Day-to-day, simply because of where I live, I get to listen to people freely discuss their theological/political beliefs without hesitation. They get to vent their frustrations with government, they get to share a lesson they learned/gave in church, or they get to ramble about some activity that they are in charge of.
I'm in the vast minority here. I have to watch everything that comes out of my mouth, because my beliefs are so different from the majority that I am liable to offend at any given moment. I can't speak my mind; I would either get completely ignored or I would ignite conflict. Every day that I am at work I hear references to the general local religion, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, and I am reminded that I'm not a part of the mainstream.
I am lucky enough to have 2 places of solace, where I can be more free to express my thoughts about MY beliefs, or MY activities, or MY parental issues. One of them is at my own home, where my kids have to put up with my opinions all the time. I tell them my opinion and I tell them why I have that opinion, and let them go about their way, free to decide for themselves what they believe. The other place of solace is with my extended family.
My extended family doesn't always agree with each other. We've had too many fights for most people's comfort, and it's hard for each of us to back down when threatened. But the thing that makes my family a solace, even given the sometimes-volatility, is that we accept each other. We fight, we disagree, but we accept who each other is and we relish the unique individuality we all have. So what if you don't share my politics? So what if we don't share belief in God? We still like each other and we can have fun and you can be you and I can be me.
But what if I can't be me with my family either anymore? What if I can't use my extended family as a solace because I've been asked to only stick to certain neutral topics at family gatherings? So now at work I need to shut my mouth and with my family I need to shut my mouth. For if I open my mouth, it might start an argument. It might taint the children.
It's not just a matter of "avoiding certain topics" for the sake of the children's innocence. If that were the case, we'd have to have sex and drugs and bowel movements and crudeness and societal irreverence be on the chopping block as well. We would have to white-wash all interaction and sterilize all communication. We could do this, just for the sake of the children, but ultimately don't they get to decide for themselves what path they take in life? Hasn't it been shown time and again where parents do all they can to protect their children from bad decisions and yet it backfires and the child ends up being exactly the person whom the parent desperately tried to avoid them being?
How about we just let our children get exposed to the myriads of people there are out there in this big world? Even though I'm an atheist, I'm not handing your kids drugs. Even though I'm an atheist, I'm not encouraging your kids to get on the sex train. I might say something which you don't theologically agree with, so why can't you just have a conversation with your kids to explain why what I (La) said doesn't sit well with you? Why go the route of telling La not to say it in the first place, and in essence tell La that you only accept part of who she is, not all of who she is?
I'm sorry, but I won't accept blame for screwing your kids up, just because I want to act the way I believe. Give the young'uns some credit, they are smart and they know what's right and wrong.
