Outer Lightness » My Faith No More

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My Faith No More

Missionaries

Posted: October 29th, 2007, 9:00am EDT by Sydney

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Hello there, it's been a while since I have updated, and I apologize for that. I wish I could tell you it was because I won the lottery and I was on a cruise to Alaska, but I can't.

Last week Roomie and I got home from work/grocery store and we noticed some guys sitting in a maroon car in the apartment complex parking lot. I immediately turned to Roomie and made a joke that they were missionaries coming to find me... he laughed as we got our bags of groceries together.

I looked up and noticed that they WERE missionaries. Yep! White shirts, black name tags, and Books of Mormon under one arm. We sat and watched where they went, and they went to my building... up my staircase... and waited right next to my door.

Roomie was surprised, and he asked me what I wanted to do. He knows that turning away missionaries is one of my least favorite things to do... They are 19 year old boys who leave home for 2 years and preach about their church. I feel bad for them, because they are taught from the time they are fetuses that they are not a good person until they complete this mission. Many of these kids (yes, I know they are adults, but they usually leave right out of high school and it's their first time away from home...) are homesick, hungry, thirsty, and just want a warm place to sit down and relax. I hate disappointing people, and when you turn away a missionary, they take it personally. I got over that real quick.

Roomie and I were walking up the stairs to where they were, and they quickly moved out of our way so we could get through with our bags. I smiled and said, "Thanks!" and we quickly went in the apartment and closed the door. As we were doing this, I caught a glance off of one of the missionaries... he looked surprised.

I told Roomie that they were probably shocked that a woman and a man were living in the same home together before they are married. They must have assumed we were living in sin and left.

I am still waiting for them to come back...
Sydney
Fire Alarm

Posted: October 29th, 2007, 8:47am EDT by Sydney

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What a strange couple of days!

The day before yesterday, Saturday, roomie and I started to hear this beeping noise. It wasn't constant, it would beep three times... stop, then beep again a few minutes later. We usually keep our windows open during the day, so it became obvious that someone's fire alarm was acting up.

We couldn't quite figure out where it was coming from. I listened from my bedroom window and it sounded like the noise was coming from one of the apartment buildings across from us. We did our best to ignore it, and dealt with the annoyance. I really assumed that someone else would take care of it. I couldn't possibly be the only one who noticed the sound, and the people in the building would be going nuts about it and call it in... right? Wrong.

The beeping continued all through the night, and all day on Sunday. Then, we got a knock on our door. I looked through the peep-hole to make sure it wasn't the Mormon Missionaries (another story) and I couldn't recognize the guy. I told roomie I was answering the door to a stranger and then opened the door (don't know why I told him... made me feel safer I guess...)

The guy was very nice, and asked me if I knew the people across the hall from me. I told him that they were loud once in a while, but they since moved out. I didn't think anyone lived there. The gentlemen then explained the beeping was coming from that apartment, and he could hear it all the way from his house. I told him that I didn't realize it was coming from my own building... the echo made it sound like it was much farther away. He then went upstairs to ask those neighbors if they knew anything about the mysterious noise. They didn't know either... and they decided to call the fire department to check it out.

Not 10 minutes later there was another knock at my door, and a firefighter supervisor was there. I opened my door and gave him as much info about the neighbors as I could... which wasn't much. I explained that we saw them moving out a few days ago, and that we were pretty sure the apartment was empty.

Firefighter asked me if we had Carbon Monoxide detectors in the apartment. I wasn't sure, so I invited him in my apartment to check. Nope... just smoke alarms. He was concerned that someone was inside the apartment and couldn't move. I started to get a little worried and mad at myself for not calling them sooner.

They got permission from the apartment complex emergency contact to open the door. Roomie and I were watching through the peep-hole to see what was going on. They only opened the door a crack at first and tested for gas. Nothing... thank goodness.

Turns out the apartment was empty, and one of the apartment complex workers didn't set the alarm correctly.

Last night was so nice and quiet... I still hear beeping in my head every once in a while. Strange stuff.
Neighbors... oh, I love them...

Posted: October 20th, 2007, 2:39pm EDT by Sydney

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When I moved back to Utah a few months ago, I had to choose the apartment strictly from what I knew about it from the Internet. I love the place, everything is really nice and new... we have no problems with things breaking down, or looking bad. It's a great place.

That being said, I must vent some frustration about my neighbors.

I live in a college town. I know there are lots of young adults living here while they go to school, and I know they have roommates who are also going to school. Parties happen... you have to relax somehow. School is stressful. We knew there was going to be noise, and we were prepared for it... we were not prepared for the degree of it though...

The first night we were here, the downstairs neighbors (I am on floor 2 of a 3-story building) were watching The Matrix. How do I know? Because I could hear every word clear as day. We didn't have our beds yet, so we slept on pillows and blankets... we could feel the vibrations from the speakers of their television in the floor. It was really loud. We didn't bang on the floor even though it was really late... we were new to the building and we didn't want to be horrible from day one.

Unfortunately, the loud television watching continued... almost every night. I have always had trouble sleeping, so its really frustrating to me when I am feeling like I could fall asleep but someone is being very loud. After a couple weeks I got fed up and I started thumping on the floor to give them the "hint" they were annoying the rest of the building. The loud television stopped when the people living there moved. I was really excited when I saw them moving their mattresses from my window.

The neighbors who live across the hall never bothered us. We never heard a peep from them, but early one afternoon their upstairs neighbor ran down the stairs extremely pissed off. She pounded on their door and when the guy opened the door she said something like, "You know something? I almost called the cops! I will not live upstairs and listen to this! I won't let my kids hear that... I won't." The guy looked sheepish and stared at the floor (I heard the commotion and was watching from my peephole to see what the drama was about). He nodded and said, "okay" and closed his door.

I told roomie what happened and he guessed their might be some verbal or physical abuse going on and the woman didn't want to subject her kids to that. It made sense.

Not long after the downstairs neighbors left, new neighbors moved in upstairs from us. We went up and introduced ourselves with an offering of cookies... we wanted to welcome them to the building.

Our upstairs neighbors have a dog. It's tiny and adorable... very friendly. I love him... unfortunately, this dog loves to run around and play ball in their apartment. Your will hear, "Bah-boom!" and then the sound of little paws running after the ball. We don't mind that the animal plays... we are huge animal lovers. We just don't like that they play this game at 2 or 3 in the morning. Give me a break!
Last night they were at it again. Roomie and I were in our separate bedrooms and we were both trying hard to fall asleep with the noise. Roomie finally got fed up and stood on his bed and banged on the ceiling to get them to shut up... he hit the ceiling three times. "Boom, Boom, Boom."

It was quiet for about 15 seconds, and then they started banging back... louder than I have ever heard before. I would almost believe they were practically jumping up and down with both feet because the ceiling shook. When this happened, the ceiling fan in the living room shook hard, and one of the light bulbs sparked and then went out. The noises then continued at the same pace as roomie banged on their ceiling... "Boom, Boom, Boom.... Boom, Boom, Boom." They were doing it on purpose.

Roomie was really pissed off, and I told him to calm down and not go up there to "have a talk" with them because you never know what people are going to do in situations like these. Would they act with force? Do they have a gun? Knife? You just never know...

I made him promise to let it go for the night, and we went to the apartment complex office building this morning. We told the girl what happened (she was new) and told her we didn't want to seem like we were "complainers" and that we did our best to be good neighbors, but we just couldn't take it anymore. We were fed up, and going to the office was the last straw. The girl was very empathetic, and she promised to tell her supervisor and get someone to stop by to take a look at the ceiling fan that shorted out. She kept her word, and they were given a warning (there was already another one on their file from a different neighbor).

We are a little concerned about what they will do about this... they have to know it was us who complained because of the banging back and forth...

I just re-read the post to check for errors (and I always miss them, so I don't know why I bother...) and it does come across like I am a grumpy person who demands quiet all the time. I want to make clear that isn't the case. It's crazy! I want it to stop!

I can't wait until I win the lottery so I can buy a home in the middle of nowhere and not have to put up with all this crap!!!

Sydney
Too Pretty to Eat...

Posted: October 14th, 2007, 12:32pm EDT by Sydney

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I was feeling a little hungry, and found some awesome photos of cupcakes on flickr. If you would like to see who took the photos, just click the picture and you will be taken directly to that specific flickr page. I hope you enjoy these as much as me!

I saved the best for last....
You've Got Mail

Posted: October 13th, 2007, 7:27am EDT by Sydney

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I hate getting my mail. It's bills, it's junk mail, and it's Church stuff. Today was no exception. I opened up my apartment mailbox and saw the monthly edition of "The Ensign," a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints magazine. I never signed up for the subscription, and I have been receiving this magazine for 10 years. One of my family members, (I used to suspect my Mom, but I have recently learned it wasn't her...) has paid yearly for this magazine to be sent to me in Orlando, and then by miracle it appears at my new address in Utah. Someone is trying to save my soul. Ugh.

After joining several ex-Mormon forums and websites, I have recently begun actually thumbing through The Ensign instead of just throwing it directly into the trash can. Today, I was surprised by the thickness of the publication, and noticed there were two separate magazines, and I was curious.

On the cover of The Ensign, there is a smiling couple holding hands... each clutching what I can only assume to be scripture cases or temple tote-bags. The cover story, "Come to the Temple." Ahh, yes... the temple. I flipped to the article, written by my "favorite apostle" Boyd K. Packer. For those of you who don't know... Boyd K. Packer made a comment that funerals shouldn't be about the deceased, but instead on Church doctrine. That is the last thing in the world I want on my funeral... another church service.

He starts off the article telling of two missionaries who were laboring in the mountain region of the southern part of the United States. The missionaries see people gathering in the distance, and find that people are meeting for a funeral. Instead of mind their own business, they decide to stay in the background to watch the proceedings. They are burying a little boy who drowned and the minister scolds the parents for not having the boy baptized, and told the parents their son had gone to hell... and it was all their fault.

I want to add, that this paints a horrible light on this families religion... Brother Packer doesn't mention the type of religion on purpose in hopes that the faithful who read this article will assume all other religions would treat a family this way that had just lost a small child...

After the sermon is over and the parents are left alone crying (no friends stay, they leave the couple... another thing I have a hard time believing) and the missionaries walk over and share their message that they hold the keys to keep their son and family out of hell. Aww, touching isn't it? Except for the fact that the missionaries only have a pack of lies.

Time goes on and the missionaries baptize these grieving parents, and the parents go into the temple (you have to be extra worthy to do this... you must be up to date in paying 10% tithing, you must subject yourself to an interview alone with your bishop, and you have to attend all church meetings). They get their endowments and seal their son to them in the temple, and now they don't have anything to worry about... they are Mormons, they have the truth, and their family is together forever. Right.

Well, along with this magazine, I receive the 2008 Family Resources Guide. What is inside? Lets take a look!

Oh! The Church wants to sell us stuff! There are bibles, Videos, DVDs, Books of Mormon available in leather of the color of your choosing, don't forget to add your name in embossed gold lettering! Computerized scriptures, Scripture Audio recordings, scripture cases... it goes on and on...

I realized that they set you up... you read your "Come to the Temple," article and then you will need to buy everything you need in order to get to the temple. There are temple clothes, full length skirts, covered arms, high necklines, all in white. Temple slippers in white, white slips to go under your temple clothes, white socks, belts, suspenders, ties, and children's clothing. All made for the church, and SOLD by the church.

Thumbing further in the catalog, there are posters and paintings of Christ, Joseph Smith, recipe books, hymn books, family home evening resource books, easy to order magazines to send to your family and friends (that explains it), books, manuals, transcripts of general conferences... it's all there ready for you to buy! It's all about the money.

I added the link to the LDS website to order all these wonderful items to the photo of the magazine... just in case anyone is curious.

Sydney
A Woman's Place

Posted: October 10th, 2007, 6:43am EDT by Sydney

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This past weekend was the 177th Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This is a time where local wards are closed, and families dress in their Sunday best to stay at home (all weekend) and watch the conference on television. Many wards have conference on television in a larger rec room so more people will be able to watch. Everyone pays very close attention to the speeches given at General Conference, because these are the people who are the closest to God.
The conference opened with Church President and Prophet Gordon B. Hinkley, who is 98 years old. He gave the same speech he did in April, and could barely stand or walk on his own. I almost feel sorry for the guy, but not quite. He is lying to millions of people, whether he knows it or not.

Another speech given by Dallin H. Oaks (no I have no idea why the Mormons love to add their middle initial to their names like this... I guess it makes them seem more important) was about telling parents to limit their children's extracurricular activities and focus them on the Church. He told parents that their children were "amusing themselves to death... a spiritual death."

Honestly, I find that 3 hours in church every Sunday, family home evening on Monday, Young Mens/Young Womens on Wednesday, and add in all the other church activities during the week you are pretty much killing their spirit. Not to mention the daily scripture reading, praying, blessing meals (every meal) and don't forget Seminary for high school students... on top of that 2 times a year they spend their whole weekend in their house all dressed up watching a group of old men tell them they are not good enough. Let the kids play ball! Let them join a club at school! Who is killing whose spirit?

The speech that shocked ex-Mormons and Mormons alike came from Sister Julie Beck. She is the Relief Society President, and she gave a speech on "Mothers Who Know." Please, please read this speech!
In the Book of Mormon, we read about 2000 exemplary young men who were exceedingly valiant, courageous and strong. They were men of truth and soberness for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him. These faithful young men paid tribute to their mothers. They said, “Our mothers knew it.” I would suspect that the mothers of Captain Moroni, Mosiah, Mormon and other great leaders also knew.
The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are, who God is, and have made covenants with him, they will have great power for influence for good on their children.

Mothers who know desire to bear children, whereas in many cultures of the world children are becoming less valued. In the culture of the gospel, we still believe in having children. Prophets seers and revelators who have been sustained at this conference have declared that God’s commandment for his children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children, and that in the eternal perspective, children – not possessions, not position, not prestige – are our greatest jewels.

Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve, Sarah, Rebecca, and Mary, who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah in the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child, the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain will rise with them in the resurrection. Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity. And eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.Mothers who know honor sacred ordinances and covenants. I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on the earth, where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best, despite walking for miles on dusty streets and using worn out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses. Their sons where white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts. They are going to sacrament meeting where covenants are renewed. These mothers have made and honor temple covenants. They know that if they are not pointing their children to the temple they are not pointing them to desired eternal goals. These mothers have influence and power.

Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role in the plan of happiness. To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes, and dishes and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence. Therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world.
Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make up homes that create a climate for spiritual growth.
Growth happens best in a house of order, and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house. Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.

Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for missions, temple marriages, and education. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.

Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty. A well-taught friend told me that he did not learn anything at church that he had not already learned at home. His parents used family scripture study, prayer, family home evening, mealtime, and other gatherings to teach. Think of the power of our future missionary force if mothers considered their homes as a pre-missionary training center. Then the doctrines of the gospel taught in the MTC would be a review and not a revelation. That is influence. That is power.

Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children, more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time laughing, talking, singing, and exemplifying.
These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. There goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence. That is power.

Who will prepare this righteous generation of sons and daughters? Latter-day Saint women will do this. Women who know and love the Lord and bear testimony of him. Women who will are strong and immovable, who do not give up during difficult and discouraging times.

We are led by an inspired prophet of God who has called upon the women of the church to stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord. He has asked us to begin in our own homes, to teach children the ways of truth. Latter-day Saint women should excel at upholding, nourishing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this, and will come to be known as mothers who knew. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I was, and still am personally insulted by this speech. According to the president of the Relief Society (the organization of women in the LDS Church for those who don't know) believes that mothers should stay at home, have perfect kids (with perfectly ironed clothes, and perfectly brushed hair), and plan the home and take care of the home to make it... you guessed it... perfect.

In the eyes of the leaders of the Mormon Church, women are the stay at home mothers, teachers, cleaners, trainers, cookers, and planners... and they should be happy about it because that is what God wants them to do. Bull****!

I will be damned if I ever turn to a little girl and tell her this is what she has to look forward to her whole life. Don't worry about a job, a career... marry a good return missionary and have babies... it's your duty. If you think about yourself you are selfish. It's not about you, it's about the Church. You have to do it or you are not faithful or worthy. If you don't do this, you are not good enough.

The following is something I read on the message boards over the weekend in response to Julie Beck's comments. I found it perfect, and I use it with permission from "Froggie."

I'm a mother who knows.

I am a mother who knows I don't want the totality of my life's work to be reflected in a headstone that says "she had the world's cleanest toilets."

I am a mother who knows that balance is needed in all things and I must take ample amount of time for myself or my children will suffer.

I am a mother who knows that the more children I have, the more complex (not simple) my life becomes.

I am a mother who knows that if I do not teach my daughters real life skills I will be inadequately preparing them for future survival needs.

I am a mother who knows that more important than the desire to bear children is to properly care for the children I might desire.

I am a mother who understands that every female in the animal kingdom is capable of desiring and bearing young. It is rising above that animal-need and finding greater intelligence in the function that makes being a parent more noble.

I am a mother who understands that the desire to bear children may have less than divine origins. That there are selfish, unprepared, and emotionally stunted women who desire to have children.

I am a mother that recognizes that, in the grand scheme of all things parenting, an ironed shirt or dress is completely inconsequential.

I am a mother who knows that I am capable of being a leader both inside and outside of the home....and those leadership skills are respected in both venues.

I am a mother who recognizes that a religion as demanding as Mormonism might well detract from my potential to be the best mother I can be.

Sydney
Near Death Experiences

Posted: October 7th, 2007, 10:55am EDT by Sydney

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My Mom told me a long time ago that when she was a teenager she had a near death experience. She was lying on a sofa in her basement, and my Grandma was vacuuming the carpet in the next room. She heard the noise and got up. When she got up she felt funny, turned around and saw her body lying on the sofa. She was scared, but she knew she had to get back into her body. She told me that the feeling of "climbing" back in was painful and otherwise indescribable. She was fine when she woke up.

Some people say that it was all a dream. My Mom wasn't sick in any way, she hadn't been on any kind of drugs... it was just some fluke thing that happened to her.

I began to do some research online and found that it doesn't matter how old you are, what religion you are, or what is going on in your life at that particular time. It could happen to anyone, and it's fascinating.

Most people having near death experiences have a strong sense of peace, sometimes they see dead loved ones. There are, however, people who have the opposite experience. University Professor Dr. Howard Storm once believed that there was no life after death. He thought only simple-minded people believed in that sort of thing. All that changed when he became violently ill, and he was rushed by ambulance to a hospital. They were unable to operate right away, and he felt he was dying. He said his goodbyes to his wife and "drifted into darkness."

"He suddenly found himself out of his body, but it was no dream or hallucination. He was fully aware and felt more alive than ever before. He was drawn into fearsome realms of darkness and death, where he says he glimpsed the terrible consequences of a life of selfishness and materialism.
Surrounded and attacked by evil spirits, he heard a voice saying, "Pray to God."
The Dr. started to pray, and much to his surprise the evil spirits backed away screaming obscenities and shouting, "There is no God!"
In the darkness, he realized that all the things he had lived for - family, sculptures, painting, his house and garden, fame, power - didn't mean a thing. A tune from his childhood started going through his head; Jesus loves me, words he had sung in Sunday School.
Howard says; "A ray of hope began to dawn in me. For the first time in my adult life I wanted it to be true that Jesus loved me. I didn't know how to express what I wanted and needed, but with every bit of my last ounce of strength, I yelled out into the darkness "Jesus save me!"

He describes being enveloped by a brilliant light which was not a thing, but a person. "He was the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Christ Jesus the Saviour, who loved, Me."

Howard made a slow recovery. He studied to become a pastor and now leads a church in Ohio. He says, "When you ask God to forgive and you mean it from the heart, He does forgive you.

"I believe God allowed me to come back so that I could tell people about the love of God."
Scientists who have studied near death experiences believe that it's all in the mind. A loss of oxygen causes the brain to have hallucinations... most people see a tunnel of light. Scientists believe this "light" to be the brain actually trying to exist without the lack of what it needs.

After learning that my faith was not true, I am still trying to figure out what I believe in. Do I believe in Near Death Experiences? I don't know. Science is very important to me now... I want people to be able to prove something to me so I don't feel lied to again, but in doing that am I closing my mind to things that could be real? I do believe my Mom's story, she would have no reason to make that up, and she wrote it in a journal after it happened with much detail. I believe her.

Sydney
It's Gonna Be A Cold One...

Posted: October 6th, 2007, 10:14am EDT by Sydney

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Hello my internet buddies...

Today I am watching a marathon of "Who wants to be a Soap Star" and looking out my windows at a mountain full of Snow! Snow!!! It's been seven years since I have seen snow. It's fantastic, and I can't wait until it gets cool enough for the snow to stick at the lower elevation at my apartment. I owe my roomie a snowball.

Yesterday I was nursing my black and blue toes (oh, they are a pretty shade of purple today...) and daydreaming about some burgers from Arctic Circle. I love that place. Their fry sauce is to die for. I didn't have much money, so roomie went out and got me a kids meal... the square pumpkin. The meal came in the normal cardboard container shaped like a pumpkin... ahh, I love Halloween. Inside, my special prize was pumpkin flashlight. The cats love it.

When I was little Halloween was a really good time. I would plan my costume for months. One year, my brother had surgery and he didn't have time for his costume... so I came up with the idea of getting a giant box and wrapping it with Christmas wrapping paper... we had a big bow on top. He was a Christmas present... it was really cute the way his arms stuck out of the little holes. Well, that Halloween we had snow on the ground, and his costume barely made it out of the door. He had to put on his heavy coat and we could barely get the cardboard box over it! We had a last minute costume fitting and we made all the holes bigger.

Another Halloween I dressed as Princess Toadstool from Super Mario Brothers. I had the frilly pink dress with tiara... but it was cold, and Mom wanted me to wear a coat over it. Princess Toadstool doesn't wear a coat! I soon started freezing my princess ass off, and took her advice...

The last Halloween with my Dad was rough. He had a tracheotomy due to his thyroid cancer, and he wanted to hand out the candy to the kids. I pulled out a couple lawn chairs from the shed, set up our pumpkins, and grabbed the big bowl of candy. My Dad and I had a really nice time passing out candy... it's a memory I will always treasure.

When I moved to Orlando, a lot of my neighbors thought that Halloween was "Of the Devil." Instead of letting their kids dress up and get some candy, they stayed home and prayed because Halloween was the devil's holiday.

I was surprised when I realized how many people don't let their kids trick-or-treat. Don't get me wrong... it's scary out there. Hell, there is no way anyone should let their kids out there alone... but what is the harm in letting them dress up like a pirate or princess and letting them carve a jack-o-lantern? Some of my best memories from childhood are from Halloween.

Growing up Mormon, the only rule for Halloween was to not wear a mask. Not sure why...
Cussing Like A Sailor

Posted: October 4th, 2007, 11:19am EDT by Sydney

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Hello internet friends, good evening!

I got home from work, changed into my pajama pants and thought about the hellish day at work... I needed to treat myself because people were yelling at me all day...

I was getting ready to reward myself for a long days work by getting a small cup of ice cream. I soon realized that I didn't have any small cups, so I used a glass I got when I worked in Orlando. I bought this really yummy ice cream during my infamous trip to the grocery store, Baby Ruth ice cream. I had been daydreaming about it all day.

I looked for my ice cream scoop, couldn't find it. Roomies turn to do the dishes, and he sure takes his sweet time... I had to use a spoon.

I put a little chocolate sauce in the bottom of the glass, then I started layering ice cream with more chocolate sauce. The dessert looked beautiful!

Then--it happened!

To be honest, I don't even know *how* it happened! Suddenly the heavy glass full of layers of chocolate and ice cream was falling slow motion down to my foot. No shoes to cushion the blow... the glass hit my toes and fell to the floor. I had shards of blue glass everywhere.

I didn't realize I was yelling, but roomie showed up out of nowhere concerned for my safety. He said I was cursing like a sailor... he had never heard me talk like that before. I don't even know what I said!

Nice guy that he is, he cleaned up the mess and got some ice for my now black a blue toes. He even offered to go to dairy queen to get me a blizzard. What a good friend I have. I am blessed.

Sydney
Dream...

Posted: October 3rd, 2007, 2:15pm EDT by Sydney

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I was laying on the couch watching America's Next Top Model and I fell asleep. I never nap! Never been able to, but out of nowhere I was knocked out cold sound asleep.

I had a dream that I have had before many times, and it is very vivid. In the dream I am a male adult, and I am very cold... I am soaking wet. There are people in front of me, and in back of me... in a straight line. We are in a ditch barely wide enough for us to walk single file. I notice a hard helmet of some kind, and it's very dark. We walk in line for a few moments and we are then ordered to crouch down. I am not sure how I know this, but it's very important that I get as low in the trench as possible.

Without warning, there is a huge flash of light. I close my eyes as tight as I possibly can and I feel a strong wind... very strong... over the top of the dirt on the surface. Through my closed eyes, I see my bones... it's hard to describe.

The wind then throws our human chain hard against one side of the trench, as if we had been pushed over.

Then I wake up.

I had talked to friends and family about my dream before, and someone mentioned to me that it sounds like I was a soldier and we witnessed an atomic bomb testing.

I have always been fond of things from the WWII era. I love the clothes and hairstyles... the music. When I watch a period film I can't help but feel like I was there... that the movie was reminding me of something I had done before. I even look forward to those films on TCM... the ones that teach kids how to "duck and cover" or "How to mind your manners." I get the deja vu feeling when I see them.
Another friend suggested that I had been reincarnated. She thought I had lived during that time, and possibly died in the war... I don't know that I believe in reincarnation, I don't know what I believe in at all anymore about anything. I grew up on a military base, so it's possible that I am dreaming I am in the military because of that.

I have no idea what to make of it, but it's sure interesting.
Sydney