I don’t get worship services. I use the term most people use to describe the Sunday morning activities that somehow has become a required performance for the deity of your choice. Worship. In an odd way I get bothered even saying the word.
The common belief in god is that he is our father and we are his children. Short of debates over this relationship I’ll use this one as the base for this writing.
Now short of an underground breakthrough in Petri dish technology and gene splicing, all of us have a father. While maybe dad is a stretch on some, the term father can be used as a generic. It sounds better then ‘sperm donor’ to describe the person who donated at least half the genes in your chromosome matches.
Now the big father in the sky is supposed to be many things. A dad, a guiding force in our lives, the creator, but the one that gets me is the term father. We are his spirit children are you hold to the Christian faith, and he is dad.
A small question arises. In a normal father/son relationship think hard and ask how many of them require that a person regularly worships in a set way to prove their love for their father? A relationship that demands absolute love from you, and a strict policy of following every law given to you (through people who say they talk for your father) or else you might be written out of the will?
Now is this a father/son relationship that you would find acceptable to live with?
Now a second question to ponder. What if every week you not only have to worship him, you have to resign a contract saying that you will keep following those rules? Now this contract is so important that your siblings might look down upon you if you don’t re-sign.
Would that pressure to re-sign seem proper? Then why do you do it?
The Sacrament is viewed as a renewal of the covenant made at baptism
Now we are getting to the crux of why I have always had issues with regular Sunday services. A father is to be loved. A father is to guide you until you can make your own choices in life. A father does not demand regular adoration/worship as a sign you love him, and a father does not require you to resign contracts of conduct and belief.
An easy out is to say that sacrament is symbolic. Nope. If it is symbolic then why are members who have been disfellowshipped asked not to partake? If it is not a resigning of the contract, then it should be allowed to all members in the church.
I was reading recently some translated Latin works recently by Aquinas and came to the conclusion that ‘God’ and ‘father’ should never be used together. Their meanings have so little to do with each other. Maybe you can feel that there should be a connection, and I would hope there is as I will explain, but in act, deed and requirement the two words do not come close to overlapping in a VIN diagram.
Now that word I used. Hope. You might be surprised but I’m not such a calloused individual that I could not find in me an inkling of a desire that there would be a ‘father’ figure as a creator that is watching over us, and at times guiding us. There would be a beauty in a supernatural loving god that wants us to become all that we could and embrace us after we have lived the good life.
Sadly there is a slight problem with that. The image of god that is put forth in the bible and other writings is far from the father figure. A fine example would be Abraham and the fact that god ordered him to sacrifice his son.
Now there are three ways to view this. The one normally viewed by Christians that I will skip over as it needs not be repeated, and two others.
In view two the idea of a sick twisted god comes forth. In it we seem to have a god that demands loyalty tests to see how far a person will jump, then right at the end when the heart has been torn from Abraham's chest due to the suffering at what is required a voice says “Let him live…”. Now why require an act of faith if god is all knowing? Why was god not be able to look into the soul of Abraham and know that he was a true “on his knees” follower. If your god is all knowing, then there was no need for this barbaric act to even be contemplated.
The other side is if god is NOT all knowing, and he requires these tests to find if you are a true cool-aid drinker. If god is not all knowing then how do we find it possible to call him a god?
I look into the bible and see that with a basic knowledge of right and wrong that there is much wrong.
Now back to worship.
God is flawed…if he is real. God is an insecure deity to require worship and new contract signings.
I cannot find it in myself to call this deity a god, or one worthy of worship.
Sunday worship is one of the stranger items that made me think about my views of god. It is easy to hunt through old books and find issues in the LDS church. I’ve never been a person to delve into the gamesmanship of doctrinal and historical debates.
I started looking at the basis of the relationship. Is this a healthy relationship, or is it a one sided relationship that is harmful? I found it lacking in quality and meaning.
If God is to be worshipped then he is not a father figure. If he is a father figure then he cannot be worshipped. Right now the standard Christian doctrine is one of worship…and that is bothersome, if not offensive, to me.
You might think that I am taking the word 'worship' and reading into it much more then there really is. Even the quickest google search says that worship is a form of showing love. In life if you are required to show love...then is it?
In my last post I mentioned that I had ‘fired god’ in my life. I figured for those who read this blog and never ask me why I no longer believe or what I do currently believe, that a slightly angry post should be followed by a post with a bit more depth.
I did not over a hard weekend decide to stop looking upwards. I did not find it easy to say 'no' to the idea of a father/god. It took a lot of introspective years to say that the current idea of a father/god is simply wrong in my view.
I did not study anti-Mormon literature or anti-Christian literature to end up at the place I am in. I simply asked if it was all ‘good’ and I could not say it was. I wasn’t lazy and used my natural grumpiness to justify it. I came to a realization that for me, the idea of the Christian ‘norm’ was wrong.
I cannot in good conscience say that I am a Christian in the traditional sense…but I’m not sure I need to label myself.
I’m me
I’m a moral person
I’m ethical
I’m a good husband
I’m a good son
I’m a good brother
I’m just me and I love you all no matter how you might feel about me in my place at this time in life.
Was I angry sounding before in many posts? Hell yes. When a person finds that they’re in a bad relationship they get upset and bothered. Time passes is all I need to say.
Now I find myself in a good place.
Home.